Four Letter Words
by DC41781
Summary: Paige and Emily meet again at Rosewood High's 10 year reunion. Paily.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'm taking a short break from the Art of Deception to post this. It's going to be relatively short. About two or three parts at most. Hope you guys like it. :)**

* * *

The Rosewood High gymnasium wasn't too crowded and really, that was no surprise. Most of their class had flown the Rosewood coop the very second the option was available, exactly like Paige had. Rosewood High's infamous alumni were here, though. Including Noel Kahn and Mona Vanderwaal and Bridget Wu. Paige felt a pang of nostalgia at the sight of all these old faces. It was strange; she'd never expected to miss this place, but now that she was standing here, she couldn't believe she'd been gone so long.

A squeal from the other side of the gym jolted her and she turned to see Hanna Marin skipping toward her, looking younger and more vibrant than ever, her hair now in longish blonde waves around her face. Her blue eyes were clear and her smile was huge and Paige couldn't help the way she responded, with a hearty laugh and an even bigger grin.

"Hi, Han."

Hanna pulled her into a tight hug. It almost felt like longing. "Paige. God, it's been so long. How is everything?"

"Good. Good." As much as she'd missed Hanna's bubbly presence, she was hesitant to share too much personal information about herself lest it fall into the wrong hands. Emily Fields' hands to be exact. "How are you?"

"Great! Caleb and I finally tied the knot." She held out her left hand enthusiastically, giving Paige a cue to inspect her wedding ring.

"That's wonderful, Hanna. And can I say it's about damn time."

Hanna laughed shortly, but just as quickly grew very serious. "We were gonna invite you, but…"

"Hanna. Don't worry about it. I understand. Believe me, I do. I'm just glad I'm here now."

"God, so am I! Are you planning on hanging around for a while? The others are on their way."

Paige swallowed hard at the mention of the 'others.' No doubt Emily and Ali would be among them. "I…"

"Come on, Paigey. It's been ten years. Besides, Ali's not even in Rosewood."

"No?"

"No. She's in Paris somewhere with her nutso sister."

"Sister?"

"CeCe." Hanna offered. "It's a long story."

"What about…what about Em?"

"Em will be happy to see you."

Paige gave her old friend a hard look that indicated that that wasn't what she meant at all.

"Oh. Yes, Em is seeing someone. No, it isn't Ali, thank God."

 _Thank God is right._

"What about you, Paige?"

"What about me?"

"Are you with anyone?"

To lie or not to lie. _Ugh._ She sighed and bit the bullet. "Yeah."

"And?"

"And it's pretty serious."

"That's all you're gonna give me?"

"That's all I'm gonna give you."

Hanna sighed dramatically. "Fine. Be that way." Her phone began to ring from the bottom of her purse. She looked ridiculous as she dug around for it, her teeth snug on her bottom lip and annoyed little grunts falling free. She finally retrieved it on the fourth ring. "Hey, Spence."

Paige worked to tune out Hanna's side of the conversation, but it proved relatively difficult. Hanna told the others where she was and exclaimed excitedly that she ran into someone they all just had to see. Paige groaned. She couldn't get out now even if she wanted to.

* * *

The others arrived ten minutes later and Paige found it hard not to follow them with her eyes. Spencer was undeniably beautiful in a black pinstriped pantsuit. She looked so much like her mother it was crazy. Paige wondered if Hastings had become a lawyer. She definitely looked the part. Emily wore a simple white dress that clung to her frame. And Aria…well, Aria was Aria. Paige was glad to see some things hadn't changed.

"Hey, guys." Hanna moved to greet them and Paige stood back, terrified in a way she hadn't been when she'd run into Hanna. "Look who I found."

They all seemed stunned to see her. Paige felt herself grow even more uneasy. "Hi."

Spencer was the first to recover from her shock. She tugged Paige into a friendly, quietly desperate hug. "It's good to see you, McCullers."

"You too, Hastings." Paige replied as the other girl let go. "What's with the Veronica Hastings get up? Halloween isn't for another month."

"Haha. Very funny. I'll have you know that I now run my parents law firm."

"I'm not surprised. No one's a worse hard ass than you."

Aria stepped forward, a smile on her face as she put herself between them. "Go easy, you two."

Spencer didn't even pay attention. "So, what do you do, McCullers?"

"I coach a local swim team in Sacramento."

"So, you make little children cry?"

"Hilarious. It's a _high school_ swim team." She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "And I'll have you know that they've gone to state three of the last four years."

Spencer smirked. "Well then, congrats on losing at state three of the last four years."

Now, Hanna was intervening. "Guys! Let's try to be civil. I know you two have to compete over everything, but can we like give it a rest?"

"Sorry, Han." Spencer and Paige said together.

"Good. I swear you two are worse than actual children."

"Hey!" "We are not!"

Hanna and Aria burst out laughing. "Way to prove my point."

Emily stood to the side of all of them, smiling at Spencer and Paige's familiar antics. "Some things never change." She said in an adoring voice as she looked at her ex.

"I guess they don't." Paige said, glaring at Spencer. She walked toward Emily, her steps hesitant. "Hey, Em."

Like the others, Emily swept her up into a warm hug. It felt different, of course, and a hell of a lot more famailar. Her ex still used mango shampoo. Paige gave an affectionate squeeze and pulled back, hoping that her face wasn't giving tumultuous emotions away. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you."

The corner of Paige's mouth quirked up. "You're welcome."

Spencer cleared her throat and put a hand on Paige's shoulders. "Hey, uh, we're having a sleep over at my place tonight."

Paige couldn't help but laugh at the use of the word 'sleep over.' "Aren't we a little old for that?"

"Maybe you are, McCullers. Some of us like to hang out, get drunk off our asses and complain about our spouses."

Paige shook her head and fought the urge to gag at thought of Emily with a spouse. "Getting drunk off my ass could be fun."

Spencer nudged her shoulder. "There you go. So, you in?"

"Yeah, I'm in."

* * *

She packed her overnight bag slowly, eager to drag out the inevitable. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Emily again; it was that she was absolutely dreading it. The thought of calling Stacey passed her mind, but she forced it down and focused on getting ready to go to Spencer's. She lived in her childhood home, which wasn't even a bit of a surprise. Despite how much trouble Spencer had had with her family, she loved the house and everything that came with it.

Paige let out a breath and reached into her pocket for her phone. She couldn't afford to think about Spencer or Em or Rosewood. Already, it was clear that this place was on the verge of sucking her back in. She couldn't let that happen.

Stacey answered on the second ring. "Hey, you." It was the way she always greeted Paige.

A smile touched her lips at the warm familiarity. "Hi. How's everything going?"

"You know how it is. Kevin is still a dick."

"Don't let him work you too hard."

"Never, baby. Never. How's it going in Rosewood?"

"It hasn't changed much. All my friends are married to their high school sweethearts. It kinda feels like I went through a time machine." _Everyone except Emily, anyway._

"Is that really so bad? I know how much you missed the place."

"I wouldn't go that far." Paige chuckled. "I missed the people. Not the town."

"Fair enough. You know what I miss?"

"What?"

"You."

Paige could hear the smile in her girlfriend's voice. "I miss you, too. I'll be back before you know it."

"And then we can start planning the wedding?"

"Absolutely. I can't wait."

"Me, neither. I love you."

"I love you, too. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, baby." Stacey said sweetly, blowing a kiss into the receiver.

"Bye."

* * *

They were all staring at her expectantly. Emily looked from one to the other to the other, her eyebrows raised. "What?"

"What do you think?" Hanna asked with in 'duh' tone.

Emily threw her hands up. "I don't know what you guys want me to say."

Spencer slid to the edge of the love seat, one hand palm out to keep Hanna quiet for a moment. "We just want to know how you are. We're worried."

"About what?"

"About you seeing Paige again." Aria replied softly. "We know how you felt about her."

"Right. How I _felt._ She's got a whole other life in California, you guys. I can't get in the way of that."

"We just want you to be happy, Em. And we know Sara isn't doing that." Hanna's expression turned sullen as she put a palm on Emily's knee.

"Guys, I love you, but this is crazy. Paige and I…God, we haven't even seen each other for ten years. We're different people now." Her friends gave her matching sympathetic looks. "Please don't look at me like that. I'm not in the mood for a pity party."

Hanna clapped her hands and stood up. "You're right, Em. We're sorry. I'll go get us drinks."

Aria was next to get to her feet. "I have to call Ezra. I'll be back in a sec."

With them both gone, Spencer turned her attention to Emily again. "I really am sorry, Em. We just care about you."

"I know. I know. I'm not mad. Just really, really confused."

"About Paige?"

"Yeah. I wasn't expecting to see her…or to still feel so much."

"I understand. I just hope you know we're here for you."

"Yeah."

There was a knock on the door.

Spencer rubbed her palms down her pant legs. "All right. You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"Then let's do this."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: HUGE thanks to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed this story. It keeps me writing.**

* * *

Her head was spinning and there was a haze around the edges of her vision that effectively rid her of peripheral. She couldn't quite make out the voices of her friends above the dull roar of her stupor, but she saw Paige on the other side of the room, head thrown back with a laugh, her eyes exquisitely brown even though they carried a glaze of drunkenness.

Emily tried to remind herself to breathe; the task seemed almost impossible, though, because she couldn't focus her thoughts. She wouldn't even dare to speak. There was a definite chance she'd say something that would prove how hopeless this all was. She turned her head to find that Aria was studying her…and that she wasn't nearly as drunk as Emily was.

"What?" Emily slurred.

Aria shrugged. "Nothing. You just…you're staring, Em."

She was all too aware of that. "I'm not that obvious, am I?"

"Not to them, maybe. But, to be fair, they're all drunker than you."

The giggle that burst out of her at Aria's words could not be helped. "I don't think that's possible." She replied, throwing back another swig of the wine Spencer had poured her 15 minutes ago.

Aria began to study the rest of them, her gaze shifting from Spencer to Paige to Hanna and back again. They were all talking a little too loudly about the job Toby had taken in Philly. She returned to Emily with a disapproving shake of her head. "They're gone."

Emily grew somber at the realization that maybe Paige was avoiding her on purpose. "Aria, do you think she's ignoring me? What if she's with someone else?" She dropped her head. "God, I'm such an idiot."

Aria's touch was warm on the back of her neck. "Em, relax. You're only human. You never really got closure. It's not wrong for you to want it."

"It's not?"

"Of course not."

She looked toward Paige again and made the decision to find that closure. Just maybe not when they were both drunk and avoiding each other. Tomorrow she would. Tomorrow.

* * *

The hangover was massive. With a groan, she pushed herself up, using one hand to shield her eyes from the sunlight that was shining in. Hanna was beside her on the couch fast asleep, her arms curled underneath her head. Aria slept on the loveseat opposite them. On the floor was the air mattress Spencer had somehow retrieved for Paige, but Paige herself was nowhere to be found. Panic crackled along Emily's nerves. Surely, Paige was hungover. Where the hell could she have gone if she felt even half as awful as Emily did right now?

Emily rubbed at her eyes and stood up, desperate for a hot cup of coffee. Hopefully it would clear the fog of the previous night. She went about making it, trying to focus on every little movement so as to avoid her thoughts straying in an unwanted direction. They went there, anyway. Did Paige hate her? Was she happy with someone else? Was she married like Aria and Hanna and Spencer? Emily knew what that meant; it meant Paige was lying to her or at least, avoiding being open. That was new. Paige used to tell her everything. _Of course, that was when she loved me._

The front door creaked open and Paige stepped in, dressed in familiar running clothes and drenched in sweat. Emily crinkled her brow and fought the urge to laugh. "Seriously? You went for a run?"

Paige startled, but eased when she realized who it was. "Yeah. Why?"

"Is your head not pounding?" Emily studied her ex and was surprised to find that she was clear eyed. "Did you develop some kind of immunity to alcohol in the last ten years?"

"Nah. I just know how much I can handle and how much is too much." Paige replied with a smile. It was the same one she used to give Emily every day when they were together.

Emily tried to disguise her blossoming anguish behind her coffee mug. "You're a freak." She chided, a playful lilt to her voice that she certainly didn't feel.

Paige gestured toward Aria and Hanna, still out cold in the living room. "Seemed to have hit them pretty hard, huh?"

"Don't be ridiculous. They sleep like that even when they go to bed sober."

"That's right. I must've forgotten. Where's Spence?"

"She's in the same state as those two, I'm sure." Emily realized she'd missed this. The ease between herself and Paige and her three best friends. It felt like home.

"I'm pretty sure Hastings had more than any of us. That competitive streak sure does include everything, doesn't it?"

Emily nodded. "It always has."

Silence filled the room. Emily suddenly remembered where they were and who they were and how time had changed them. She wanted senior year back. A do over. She deserved it for what she'd been through. "Paige…"

Paige's face grew stern. "Please don't."

"I have to."

Her shoulders fell heavily and she kept her eyes on the floor.

Emily took it as surrender. "Paige, I don't know how I feel. When I saw you yesterday, it felt like being struck by lightning. It hurt me and it terrified me and it created this vortex of sadness and confusion and guilt. I didn't realize until that moment how much I'd missed you." Paige opened her mouth, but Emily shook her head. "Please, let me finish. I loved you. I know I didn't say it enough, but I did. And I should've tried harder, but I was scared. When you stopped returning my calls and my e-mails, I just gave up. I'm sorry for that, Paige. I really am."

"Do you want to know why I stopped contacting you?" Paige scoffed and looked away, visibly overwhelmed by what she wanted to say. "I was trying to let you go. I wanted to forget you because I knew at some point you were going to forget me. I was doing it to protect myself from how painful that would be. I was so in love with you it hurt and I just…I wanted it to stop."

Emily flinched. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe I didn't want to forget you?"

"What do you want me to say, Em? That I'm an idiot? That I should've been stronger? Of course I should've been. But, the past is the past. It's over. _We're_ over. I don't have to defend myself. I learned how to live without you and that was what I wanted."

"So you left because you didn't want to be in love with me?"

"No! I left because I couldn't live in this place. Always looking over my shoulder, terrified someone was going to hurt me or you or anyone else I cared about. It drained me, Emily. Do you get that? I needed to leave."

Tears began their trek down her cheeks. "I wanted you to stay. I'd never wanted anything so bad in my life. And you just let go of us."

"That's not fair."

"Of course it is! You left me, damn it. I begged you to stay and you still left! And now you have the nerve to stand here and tell me that you did it because you didn't want me to hurt you. While you were hurting me."

"Em…" She reached out, but Emily smacked her hand away.

"Don't. You've made it clear that you don't want anything to do with me."

"Emily, wait." Paige begged, following Emily toward the front door. "Please."

The door slammed in her face. She heard a noise behind her and turned to see that Hanna and Aria were awake, staring wide eyed at the scene. "How much of that did you hear?"

Hanna winced. "Plenty."

"She gave me a chance and I just messed it up. What the hell's the matter with me?"

Aria got up and crossed the room to stand beside her. "Don't beat yourself up, Paige. You'll find a way to fix this."

"The thing is, I'm not so sure I want to fix it."

"Why not?" Hanna asked.

"Don't get me wrong. I care about Em, you know I do, but I've grown up, you guys, and I've realized that the shit that went down when we were kids happened for a reason. Maybe Emily and I weren't meant to be forever."

"I don't believe that." Aria rubbed her back in soothing circles. "You guys were meant to be together."

"Then why did the universe insist on tearing us apart over and over and over?"

"Because it wants you to fight for what you had."

"It's too late, Aria. I found someone else. We're getting married. I can't just drop everything and chase after Em. Again."

"Paige, why did you come back to Rosewood? Honestly?" Hanna watched her expectantly and Paige gave in, sighing loudly.

"I don't know. I guess I missed it. I've been gone so long, but this place is still home. As much as I hate to admit it."

"You came back even though Emily's here. Some part of you must've known you'd run into her."

She focused on the comfort of Aria's touch for a long second before answering Hanna's unspoken question. "Yes, I wanted to see her. Of course I did. But, that doesn't mean I was hoping she'd take me back." It sounded false even to her own ears, so it was no surprise when Aria and Hanna gave her a look that said 'You're full of shit.' "Jesus, you guys! I can't do this anymore. This isn't high school, okay? This is real life."

"No one's telling you to make a decision right now. Just sit down and seriously think about what you want and why you're here." Aria had become a voice of wisdom; absently, Paige wondered when that had happened.

"Okay. Okay. I'll think about it, but I can't guarantee that my decision will be what you guys want to hear."

Hanna smiled. "Don't worry, Paigey. We're adults now. We can handle it."


End file.
